Understanding What We Deal With

Understanding is something that I believe everyone wants at some point in our life. Maybe your boss doesn’t understand he’s making you miss your daughter’s recital for a stupid inventory report. Maybe your boyfriend just doesn’t understand how exciting those shoes really are. After all, did you not see the cute bows on them?

As I have said, the mentally ill are people and at least in my experience, we also want understanding, sometimes out of random things in our lives, but also about our illnesses and what we have to deal with.

One of the biggest hurdles of a mental illness is that it’s on 24/7. While I may not be dealing with it at every moment of the day, I can’t predict that there won’t be a moment five seconds from now when it crops up and I’ll have to immediately deal with it.

Coping with my illness sometimes seems like a full-time job. At the back of my mind I always have to worry about whether I am taking too much stress on or not, how tired I am and my general mental state.

I am good at it. I have to be if I want to succeed. The thing is though is that this process is usually completely invisible to a person who doesn’t have experience with mental illness. Sometimes, even if they have been told about our condition, they don’t see “the piano on our backs” like my friend Josh like to put it.

One of my goals of this project is to shed a little light on understanding what I as a schizophrenic go through in dealing with my illness. Hopefully that might help a reader understand what other people who have gone through the hell of mental illness deal with and have dealt with.

2 Responses to Understanding What We Deal With

  1. D says:

    Neil, thank you for everything you’ve written here. I have a friend who is tormented by voices, and it’s been very hard to see her suffer, and not be able to convince her to get help. I’ve been reading a lot in hopes of learning, of coping, of helping… and your writing is one helpful piece in this puzzle.

    • Neil says:

      Thank you D. Getting help is one of the hardest choices I have ever made (and have continued to have to make). I do hope that your friend gets help because in my experience it is much better to struggle with others rather than struggle alone in the dark.

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