Understanding is something that I believe everyone wants at some point in our life. Maybe your boss doesn’t understand he’s making you miss your daughter’s recital for a stupid inventory report. Maybe your boyfriend just doesn’t understand how exciting those shoes really are. After all, did you not see the cute bows on them?
As I have said, the mentally ill are people and at least in my experience, we also want understanding, sometimes out of random things in our lives, but also about our illnesses and what we have to deal with.
One of the biggest hurdles of a mental illness is that it’s on 24/7. While I may not be dealing with it at every moment of the day, I can’t predict that there won’t be a moment five seconds from now when it crops up and I’ll have to immediately deal with it.
Coping with my illness sometimes seems like a full-time job. At the back of my mind I always have to worry about whether I am taking too much stress on or not, how tired I am and my general mental state.
I am good at it. I have to be if I want to succeed. The thing is though is that this process is usually completely invisible to a person who doesn’t have experience with mental illness. Sometimes, even if they have been told about our condition, they don’t see “the piano on our backs” like my friend Josh like to put it.
One of my goals of this project is to shed a little light on understanding what I as a schizophrenic go through in dealing with my illness. Hopefully that might help a reader understand what other people who have gone through the hell of mental illness deal with and have dealt with.